


Refugees From the Land of Wind and Clockwork

by Ashes2Aces



Series: Four Towers, Three Kids, Two Lands, One Timeline? [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha Timeline (Homestuck), Alt Dave and John are better off but their session was messed up, Alt Rose is not very nice, Alt Time Line, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Multi, Nonbinary Character, POV Alternating, POV Second Person, Pranking, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashes2Aces/pseuds/Ashes2Aces
Summary: In an epic showdown (not shown), Dave and Joan are banished to sleep with the horrorterrors by a Grimdark Rose. A friendly troll guide brings them to Earth C, where they meet our beloved heros. Shenanigans ensue.





	Refugees From the Land of Wind and Clockwork

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little thing inspired by two Johns that appeared to me in a dream dressed how they are by the end of the fic. I sort of just stopped writing when I ran out of inspiration so the end doesn't make sense. Unbeta'd

==>Joan: Find Rose  
Why would you do that? Rose totally just magiked you somewhere dark and scary and you aren't sure you want to see her again anytime soon. At least this place has colors unlike your session. Actually, if it weren't for this terrible feeling of horror, you'd be pretty psyched to see colors again!

==>Be surprised  
Wha- who is that? You think they have wings? It's hard to be surprised when you were just attacked by your second best friend out of nowhere.

==>  
They move closer to you, and you see they really do have wings and also horns. You pull Dave to you and his head lolls into your shoulder. You almost forgot he was unconscious. 

==>Aradia: Bring these lost souls to a safe dream bubble  
These aren't ghosts! You aren't sure why you found them, but you suppose you could bring them somewhere safer anyway. It's been quite some time since you last visited the other heros.

==>Dave: Wake up  
You open your eyes and see yourself, wearing sunglasses you've never seen in person before, your datemate, and some other people you don't recognize but seem familiar. 

==>Sit up  
You shove other-Dave away from your face as you sit up in the grass with a groan.

Dave: Where did all these colors come from, it's like the Wizard of Oz or some shit. We're not in Kansas anymore, time for fairies and furries!  
Dave: Whoa! He's awake, guys, this probably doomed Dave is up and ready for a rap strife on the roof.  
Dave: Joan, be a dear and get this ass out of my personal bubble, he clearly has issues I've already resolved and would not like to be reminded of.  
Joan: Mr Sunglasses, would you be so kind as to vacate my Dave's personal bubble, preferably by five feet or more?  
Dave: Fuck you too, bro, I was just curious about this other Dave lying on the ground all doomed-like out of nowhere, but I'll fuck off and sulk over here if you're gonna be pissy.  
Joan: Okay, so what you missed was a bunch of scary dark Rose cursing us out of existence but we were found by this, uh, troll fairy named Aradia who then brought us here! This is apparently the Alpha timeline or whatever so they all think we're doomed cause we're from a different one. I'm guessing that's probably why there's color here? Anyway, now we're here with some alternate versions of us.  
Dave: OK, I think I followed that.

==>John: Snap out of it  
You are so confused. This girl doesn't quite look like Jane and what would Nanna be doing being the same age as Dave? Where are his sunglasses? Her name is Joan? You zone out to avoid thinking about the implications. Suddenly you zone back in.

John: Are you me?!  
She looks at you, startled, then her eyes soften in what looks suspiciously like pity.  
Joan: Huh. I guess I am. You look... like... REALLY skinny oh my God do you not eat cake?-  
John: I'm not skinny!  
Joan: -I have the codes for some outfits I haven't worn since before Dave moved in, I'm going to give them to you, you'll love them, let me just...  
She becomes the breeze for a few seconds, confirming your suspicions once and for all, then recondenses right next to you and starts dragging you toward the building that houses the alchemiter.

==>Be Dave  
You are now standing in front of a group of strangers plus douchey sunglasses you and a Rose you only just noticed. The light hurts your eyes a bit, so you decapchalog your pink, jewel encrusted cat-shaped shades you alchemized using some of Rose's things. They should send a clear "Fuck you" to both other-Rose and other-Dave.

Dave: Well, while Joan and John are getting acquainted, I'd like to be introduced to the rest of yall. I have a feeling things went very differently for yall so pardon me for not knowing everyone.  
Dave: Where the fuck did you learn to talk, what's with all the fucking manners, mmph-  
Rose: Hush, brother dearest. It sounds like you already know me, although perhaps not in an entirely positive manner seeing as my grimdark self saw fit to banish you.  
Dave: It would seem so. To answer my question, I was raised up proper by Dadbert, my only father figure.  
You give yourself a very meaningful look at this last statement.

==>  
Jane: I'm Jane, you might have known of me as John's N- I mean Joan's? Nanna... er.  
Dave: Ah, indeed I have heard tell of this Nanna character. It's Joan today, but not everyday.  
Jade: I'm Jade! But I'm sure you already knew that, hee hee!  
Dave: Uh, no... I've never seen you before.  
Jade: What? Oh my gosh that's... That's really sad, I'm a player in your session, how did that even happen! I was the one to bring everyone together, too, how did you even meet in the first place?  
Dave: Well... That would explain the empty bed in the fourth tower, and we met through my being a very active trans aj coolkid on Rainbow forums. Rose got John to play Sburb, I guess none of her other contacts caved.  
Dave: mmph!

==>Be the other Dave  
You can't believe this Dave just outed you! Of all the ways this could have happened, this one never occurred to you. Why would it? You trust other Daves to make the same calls you would. This Dave says he was raised by Dadbert and came with a woke-ass trans John, so apparently that means everyone gets to be in the know on your personal biz. If Rose would just take her hand off your mouth, you would ragesplode on this asshole with all the anger of like three Karkats!

==> Ragesplode out of Rose's clutches  
You use the power of your anger, okay, it's mostly embarrassment and a lifetime's worth of paranoia, to escape your prison. You can't say anything because now you are too busy being John

==> John: Stop freaking out  
You can't. This is too much. You must demand an explanation.

John: I demand an explanation, girl me!  
Joan: Yeah, that's a valid reaction. You obviously haven't explored your gender, so my current appearance is probably freaking you out. Um, so I'm genderfluid, which is like, my gender is fluid so it changes sometimes. That was such a lame explanation. Most of the time I don't really have a gender but right now I'm a girl so... yeah. The ethics of telling you this feel kinda weird.

You are still confused. With the amount of mangrit you've got, you couldn't possibly be a girl ever! At least sometimes a boy is close enough to never a girl that you can now have a rational thought process.

==>Proceed with rational thought process and accept the girl  
You guess if you block out most of the situation, it doesn't really freak you out as much as it did five minutes ago. You aren't really sure what gender is if not being what you've been told to be all your life. This all seems too complicated. You decide to roll with it because otherwise you would have to think about something confusing.

==>Realise where you are  
John: Wait, why did you bring me here again?  
She decapchalogs a book and flips through it a bit before entering a code into the alchemiter.  
Joan: So... How's your prankster's gambit these days?  
Hmmm....... You think you know where this is going and you suppose you can get on board with it when she puts it like that...  
John: I always need more pranks with Jane around.  
Joan: Let's blow some minds 

==> Be the other guy  
You are now Karkat. Your matesprit is currently looking like he needs an auspistice. This is not your field. Where is Kanaya when you need her? Wait never mind, her duties definitely are more important than this. Where is Roxy when you need her? She is the next best at what she calls "conflict resolution" but you know to be auspisting. If she could just appear right now, that would be great.

==>Roxy: Appear  
Aha! That's where Dirk and Jake were hiding! 

==> John: Learn the plan  
Joan: So, This thing doesn't actually read minds, but if you make sure to hit them in that order, we can convince them that it does. I call dibs on both Daves, so don't you dare!  
John: I like how they look just like the original Ghostbusters gear!  
Joan: Don't cross the beams hee hee!

She becomes the breeze and, after a second's hesitation, so do you. 

==>  
Man, this is weird. You are both the breeze. The breeze is both of you. You hope you don't rematerialize as one John because the two of you have very different relationships going on that aren't very compatable. You concentrate on staying separate as you rematerialize next to two agitated Daves. You may have gained some understanding of other-you and vice versa. Jinn is a pretty cool name. 

==> Be the other breeze  
You now understand troll romance. You level your blaster at your boyfriend and pull the trigger. Next to you, John fires at his friends. Soon the two of you are reveling in post-prank joy as everyone around you becomes more and more embarrassed by the second. Whatever had been brewing between the two Daves has been forgotten.

==> Be someone else who knows what's going on  
You are now Dave. Your gossamer-clad datemate has unleashed her outfit swapping gun on these unwitting saps with the help of another John wearing a very tight, very short, black backless dress. You approve of the outfit she chose for you; all black leather pieces except for the hearts and wind symbols print boxers.  
The other Dave is wearing a cheap police costume with flip flops and my little pony chaps. You love her attempts at irony.  
Jane is wearing a sexy cupcake costume. You remember buying that at Halloween as a joke gift for Jinn. They hated it. It is finally being put to good use.  
Jade is wearing a fursuit. She already has dog ears so you guess it makes sense. She looks a bit angry about it, but unfortunately for her, she expresses this in the form of growling.  
Rose looks fucking gay as hell. She is gay as hell but you doubt she would willingly wear cat panties.  
The troll guy looks like his mounting panic was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of... Whatever the hell that contraption is. It looks like the alchemiter had fun with various bits of light bondage gear holy fuck. He now looks like he's going to have a new panic attack unrelated to the first.

Dave: yall just got pranked by the master whaaaaat! Feel the burn! All hail Johnjoanjinnjunejean McEgbertpants, lord of all your asses!  
You start beatboxing.  
Joan: ... Thanks, Dave

==> Roxy: Appear  
You appear, along with two dorks, next to... Something fun! You are almost immediately accosted by a pink fluffy ensemble you recognize from Tumblr. You are ready to party!

==> Dirk: Get kinkshamed  
Wow. Jake is suddenly wearing a fucking thong it is fucking hot. He is fucking hot. All those fishnets and... Thigh holsters are really doing it for you. Luckily you have this hat covering your crotch. Wait... What are you wearing... Fucking ropes everywhere and baseball caps in some wack places. You'd like to blame someone else for this but unfortunately you know yourself too well and this is exactly the sort of abomination that your subconscious would come up with.

Dirk: Sweet, now I know what everyone thinks is sexy!  
Jade: I swear to God I am not a furry!


End file.
